...loosing your dice bag would be a serious financial blow. could paper your bathroom in character sheets. could paper your bathroom in different versions of just ONE character. are unable to walk past the latest TSR supplement without leafing through it, even though you know it's going to be bad. have more entertaining "No-shit,-there-I-was-in-a-game" stories than you do anecdotes about your family. talk about your characters as if they are real people. alternate between referring to your characters in the first and the third person.

... and none of your friends gets confused.'ve ever spent a significant fraction of your life modifying game rules that you didn't like... and, as soon as the system worked to your satisfaction, discarded it.

...when someone says "The blue books," you don't automatically picture the kind that they give you during a college final exam. worship idols of Gary Gygax in your basement. burn Gary Gygax in effigy in your back yard. will not buy comic books with the Dragon Strike (tm) logo on the back.'ve ever seen the old AD&D tv series.'re still reading this list. hang out with people you actively dislike because they give good role-play.'ve ever gotten into a screaming match over something that happened in a game... (You are so dead! I am not dead!)'ve ever neglected to buy the new edition of your favorite game because you already have three. have more than one photocopied bootleg of a gaming text. keep old characters around just in case someone might run that system again. (Never mind that its TS: SI)

...You knew what I meant when I said TS:SI. have a PhD in manipulating point systems to the best effect, even though you failed high school geometry. can consume your body weight in junk food in one gaming session. consider Altoids, Salt-&-Vinegar chips, and blue Teeni Hugs a balanced diet. (or even an acceptable combination.) have been known to drive to far away places where you paid enormous amounts of money for the privilege of sleeping on floors, eating crap, buying little pewter statues of Gandalf, and meeting dozens of psychopathic members of the alternate (or similar) sex who will follow you around for months, merely for the pleasure of playing with gamers you don't know.

...and then signed up en masse with all of your friends to play in games with game masters who you've known since high school. own your own weight in gaming books.

...the owners of local hobby stores take your checks without ID because they know where you live. can do AD&D money conversions in your head. could wallpaper you bedroom in Dragon Mirths (tm). consider the demise of "What's New With Phil & Dixie" a blow to great literature. consider the resurrection of "What's New With Phil & Dixie" the redeeming feature of Magic: The Gathering. consider the 20th century a state of mind. have a random NPC generator, written in BASIC, designed to run on the Trash-80 or the Commodore 64.'ve ever designed your own character sheets. can be more that three NPC's at the same time without generating more than reasonable confusion in your players. have ever played a Dwarven character who did not have "axe" or "beard" ANYWHERE in his or her name. know how to sex dwarves. (chromosome typing- required a blood sample. I'M not getting it...)'ve ever tried to explain gaming to a school counselor, parent, or other PW/OC (Person With/Out Clue).'ve succeeded.'ve played Talisman more than once.'ve finished a game of Talisman.

...more than once.'re STILL reading this list. can quote extensively from the Wandering Damage Tables.'ve mistaken a d12 or a double d10 for a d20 while playing AD&D and had a THAC0 low enough to hit the 8HD monster, anyway... understood that carry AD&D insurance.

...your AC is so low that even you can't hit yourself. 87 point Balrog is no big thrill anymore.

... you bring your dice bag even to diceless role playing events.'ve ever discovered, after gaming with your significant other, that you like their character better than you do them. have friends or acquaintances who regularly refer to you as "Og." (Or something similar.)'ve ceased responding to your birth name. spend more money on dice than on food. sometimes forget what century this is.

...your first response to any frustrating situation is, "I bash it with my axe." know a lot of gaming jokes that used to be funny once.

...your friend(s) who does not game feels very left out of all of your conversations. have more gaming books than the local hobby store.'ve discovered that spare dice make good beanbag filler. knew that that last question was a ringer: who has more dice than they can use?

... you have a copy of "Dark Dungeons" kicking around somewhere because a: you thought it was funny b: your parents got concerned that you were living in a fantasy realm.'re sort of disappointed that you haven't reached the level where they start teaching you the real spells (as described in the above "Dark Dungeons" pamphlet) yet: You're sure you must be a high enough level.'ve been gaming for more than half of your life. still laugh when someone says "Hey, Dave, I think the barbarian in the corner wants another beer."

...the phrase "Collect Call of Cthulhu" brings back fond memories. can quote the whole "Trolls! Mutants! Trolls! Mutants!" strip from "what's New With Phil & Dixie." knew a female gamer once. were a female gamer once. tend to play characters as different from you in race, religion, sex, sexual orientation, and what have you as possible, just to confuse your friends.

...(For New Englanders only) You were able to find stuff at "Flock, Stock, and Barrel."'ve been known to have in-depth conversations about the relative merits of Champions, V&V, Marvel, and DC heroes... ignoring the fact that all super hero systems are intrinsically sucky. like one of the above systems enough that you yelped when I called them all, "sucky."'ve thought of four or five additions to this list. actually bought TSR's "Dungeoneer's Survival Guide" when it first came out.'ve ever tried to discover the strengths and weaknesses of a hemophiliac werewolf.

...someone is attempting to explain the floor plan of a building to you and you immediately start thinking in terms of 10X10 squares.

...or 6'x6' hexes.

...your first thought upon walking into a friend's domicile is to reflect on where you'd put the machine-gun nest.

Copyright by unknown author!